Addie came home from school today and as she unpacked her backpack, she looked up at me with a very serious look on her face and said,"Mom BE CAREFUL! I have a little box in my backpack, it is full of love. If you open it up, all of the love will float away!"
Last year I told her stories about the painting that she had had above her bed. Prior to telling her these stories, I explained that this was just pretend. The stories were always about this far away land that could only be traveled to through the secret doorway in the painting that she couldn't know about because if I did tell her and she actually went through the painting, she would want to live there forever because it was so cool and I would miss her. Despite my explanation that it wasn't real, she would beg me to tell her how to get there.
Today when she told me about this special box, I remembered being 5 years old for a second. It was nice for a moment to see through her eyes to understand her drama and to remember that she trusts and believes. In her world there is magic and wonder, she isn't jaded or cynical and is confident that what she believes she will be, she will actually be. I remember believing everything that was told to me and believing that I could do anything. I remember the magic and wonder of make believe. I remember swinging in my backyard singing as loud as my lungs would let me believing that I was basically a rock star. I had no insecurities and hadn't limited myself yet. I owned this world! I want the confidence of youth to stay with my girls. I want to help them believe that they can do anything. I know that life happens and that you have to come to some point of reality. It is good to know that life is hard sometimes and that we learn in those moments. BUT, I love these moments of innocence and joy and can't help but wish that they would never end.
Friday, February 12, 2010
A LITTLE BOX OF LOVE
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4 comments:
I love this post!! Jen, for the record, you did have the most amazing child singing voice ever...
P.S. Please send me a box of love too.
Jen, I love this post. I struggle sometimes with when to allow Kaya to believe and when to call her into reality. Things like unicorns and giants and pegasus(es?) are things she thinks are real and wonders why we've never seen them before. Her stories of wonders and wishes are so cute that I hate to burst her bubble sometimes. I still have an internal struggle with continuing the cultural lies of Santa and the Easter Bunny. But, in the end, I do it because I know how much fun it is for them...
Let's be honest. Do we ever outgrow that need for there to be something wonderful, just beyond our reach?
I try to smile, sometimes unsuccessfully, at those mean and ignorant people who insist otherwise.
You and Paul are so amazing at being genuine and caring, while personally struggling along with the rest of us. Sometimes I wonder where your secret reservoir of love is located. It seems that kindness, on a personal level, just seeps out of your pours, touching everyone near you.
Keep whispering those stories to your little princesses. A motivating tale that asks one to suspend disbelief and seek for the way into happiness.
At 67, I still believe in magic and make believe. What would life down here be like if I didn't.
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