Wednesday, February 22, 2012

This song really moved me today.

Lead Kindly Light Hymn

Lead, kindly Light, amid th’encircling gloom, lead Thou me on!
The night is dark, and I am far from home; lead Thou me on!
Keep Thou my feet; I do not ask to see
The distant scene; one step enough for me.

I was not ever thus, nor prayed that Thou shouldst lead me on;
I loved to choose and see my path; but now lead Thou me on!
I loved the garish day, and, spite of fears,
Pride ruled my will. Remember not past years!

So long Thy power hath blest me, sure it still will lead me on.
O’er moor and fen, o’er crag and torrent, till the night is gone,
And with the morn those angel faces smile, which I
Have loved long since, and lost awhile!

Meantime, along the narrow rugged path, Thyself hast trod,
Lead, Savior, lead me home in childlike faith, home to my God.
To rest forever after earthly strife
In the calm light of everlasting life.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Sunday, July 3, 2011


Yesterday without really thinking it through, I told my friend that the 4th of July was just like any other day plus watermelon and blowing things up. Today I tried to remember as much as I could about the 30+ 4th of July's that I have celebrated in my lifetime. I wish I could print out all of the images that flashed through my mind.

One of my first memories of the 4th was standing on 3rd East in Salt Lake City in front of my house, I was around 5 or 6 yrs old. My mom had cut my hair into a bob that morning. I remember shaking my head and my hair felt so light. I couldn't stop running my fingers through my hair. The Eddingtons had come to visit and our other cousins the Christensens had also come. The street was filled with people because we lived so close to downtown. My brothers and our boy cousins were throwing snaps at the ground and at my toes. I lost my big toenails that night because of those snappy snaps! Still what a great night! Perfect weather and it was a Sunday. I know this because my nemesis at the time (Heather from across the street) depanced me in front of all of my cousins and neighbors just as the firework show was beginning. I didn't take my slip off from church. I had tucked it into my shorts maybe to protect myself from Heather's evil plots, I can't be sure. But I showed her-ish. Actually not really, but my mom did give her the what for. Take that Heather! No hard feelings. It was strangely fun to have an evil villain in my life. It was good for my imagination. I loved chocolate even if it was masking EX-LAX! Still the night was magical to me with all of the patriotic songs playing on the radio..."And I'll gladly stand up, next to you and defenders still today, and there ain't no doubt I love this land, God bless the USA!"

Years later, my friends and I would walk the green belt loop as the fireworks show went off in Idaho Falls, Idaho. I felt so free going there without my parents and walking through the crowds with my crushes.

I remember the parades down Main Street in Rexburg. A few years hanging out with a mix of the following people: Amelia, Hebes, Bianca, Mark P., Terrence, Andrew, Laci, Stephanie, Christina, Rachel, Amber, Mark M, Lee, Jer, Angie, Lesha, Tricia, Mary, Scotty, Justin, Clinton, Allisa, Kris, Amanda, Eammon, Chris and Aud. Walking around the Green Belt, hanging out at the Sand Dunes, Yellowstone and/or driving to Jackson Hole.

One year I drove to Jackson, WY with Beau instead of Jackson, MT. OOOPS! Palisades and the dock and my awesome truck.

The next year I was watching the Phoenix Metropolitan Area one by one shoot off their fireworks displays as a van load of us dirty, thirsty, hungry trailwalkers made our way off of the trail driving through the valley after an amazing week down Rock and Cherry Creeks. The following week I met Paul, this handsome, hilarious, crazy loud, cynical boy I wanted my sister to marry, but somehow he worked his magic and lured me in with his amazing dance moves. Thank you Enrique!

A few years ago in Twin Falls, Idaho, I enjoyed one of my favorite 4ths to date. We took our girls to the morning parade and 4th of July festival. Addie watched the cars and floats. She was so excited! It was as if she was at Disneyland. She was mesmerized! When it was over we mosied around town with Clare in her stroller and Addie pulling us from booth to booth at the festival. That night we set up our projector with my bro Steve and his family and invited our buddies the Watsons, Michels and neighbors to watch a movie once the fireworks were over. Our little girls cuddled up by us and fell asleep. It was one of those days you wish could just keep going. Not too spectacular just happiness.

So many more specific memories I could write. I actually did write them but then accidentally deleted them and now I am burnt out. I am lucky to have so many good memories and I am going to work hard to help my children have the kind of fun that I did as a kid.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

"You Gotta Have Faith," Said George Michael

This morning I looked up faith on This was the article that caught my eye,

The Transforming Power of Faith and Character by Richard G. Scott.

I went through the article highlighting all of the different paragraphs that really spoke to me. I was going to post each one but they are all so good and I would hate to motivate anyone to only read a portion. There was so much there that I needed to hear for myself.

A few weeks ago I was listening to this wonderful, full of life, smiling eyed lady girl (35 or so) tell how she climbed out of her hole of misery. The past several years had been overwhelmingly difficult. She had become consumed by her trials, hardened and bitter. Maybe 10 years ago I would have heard her story and I would have misjudged this lady. I would have said to myself,'that lady wasted years looking for the crappiness of life' or 'that lady chose to be unhappy all of those years' or 'she chose to be a victim.'(Thanks to my misuse of the Arbinger philosophy). But because life is unpredictable and designed to try the hell out of you, I understand where this woman had come from because it has been all too easy to find myself in that same place...the victim. I have a good life but yes I have had some trials that have been so painfully overwhelming to me that I wanted to be put into some kind of induced coma until the end was in sight, just as we all have and will experience at many points in our life plus or minus the coma desire. So back to this lady-she started to sincerely work through the young women's booklet (don't know the name, can't remember), relearn the gospel and had truly started to look at herself and where she had allowed herself to be. Within a reasonably short amount of time, light replaced dark, her heart had defrosted and she felt joy more often than she had in years. I was so inspired by her transformation that I got my own copy and cracked it the other day. Again I am learning of faith.

Saturday, June 18, 2011


Friday, June 10, 2011

Elsie's Kind of First Food-(I can't figure out how to unhyperlink)

Addie and Clare are still adoring Elsie. They have really been good helpers. They want to hug and kiss her when she is awake and they love to hug and kiss her when she is sound asleep. Cute but hell sometimes! So on the 8th she turned six months and we started her on oatmeal.

And..she likes it!

It is day 15 of summer and I decided that after I do a quick catch up post I am going to make sure that I don't waste a single day of our remaining summer and post the activities of the day to hold myself accountable.

Day 15 Playing in the backyard, we watched Pollyanna together and are going to make some beautiful baked goods. Oh yeah, Addie went to a friends house got ticked off and came home. I am afraid my girls and I need to unlearn being hyper-sensitive and offense taking.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

What the World Needs Now is Love Sweet Love...

My sister sent me a link to an awesome article that I posted to facebook today. I have never done that before and I have never really gotten into facebook until the past few days. I got a little fb happy for awhile.

Back to point-this is the article about the 5 things that people regret on their death beds (Disclaimer: I don't agree with every idea in this article I just really liked that it made me want to act!) and I want it to have profoundly touched my life. I want to live a full, happy, and free life. I reread this article to Paul just now and as I read it aloud, I narrated his thoughts between sentences and realized that I have some very sad ideas of how things are. Shoot! But they were funny narrations and I wish I could spit those back out but it was a one time deal I guess. It got me to thinking though. These "little narrations" are coming from my honest fears, coming from the insecurities that I joke about but truly feel. I started thinking about the dialogue that I have going on in my head as of late, sometimes reprimanding myself and often others, the crap I spew under my breath, the "I want to shake you" daggers that I sometimes shoot into the pantleg of the person I am feeling angered by so that they won't see the tel in my eyes (I have previously been a bit passive aggressive, darnit!).

Today a friend of mine posted a harmless article about the damage being done to the earth. A misguided ...okay I'll say it-JACK A**- replied to her saying that people should stop having children. 'Oh no he didn't!' I thought about this earlier "regrets" article and decided to have the courage to state how I felt. I told the guy that he sounded super smart and that I wanted to know if he should be the one to decide who should have children or if the whole world should just totally stop having children altogether, but in a pretty sarcastic way. I felt great for a moment! I am always so afraid to say what I really think, it felt so good. Then minutes went by and I realized that I was spewing venom, feeding the fire. I fought it though because I wanted to make him aware that he was indeed the moron that I was certain he was. And again something inside of me kept telling me that I needed to chill out and remove the post. I hated that and kept justifying why I shouldn't delete it. Thirty minutes went by and I was feeling horrible, so I finally deleted it and apologized to my friend for being a jerk to her friend(?). All of the garbage and negativity relating to this stupid comment left me. I know this is a super minor moment. Not the end of the world, but entertaining these waste of time, negative feelings that suck me in end up giving away precious moments of my life that could have been filled with playing with my daughters, drawing pictures, singing, honeying the toilet, getting into Paul's facebook page updating his movies and books with things he doesn't really like, reading a book or going for a walk. All of the things that make me smile and make the people that I love smile. So I will be courageous and share my feelings but also be courageous and kind and work on my thoughts and my heart.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Pep Talks

So we are going camping this weekend and we are leaving tonight. Because of the way this day is going I am remembering my mother wrangling her 7 children, packing, cleaning, and trying to stay calm. There was chaos usually leading up to any kind of outing. My flustered, sweet dad would help load up the car. Before we hit the on ramp or before leaving city limits inevitably my dad would vow to turn the car around. I remember the threat of,"Dagnabit (or other real swears), we just won't go! If I hear another word...! We haven't even left town yet!" Sometimes he would even pull over. Super daring because what if one of us kept poking the other or worse? I don't remember EVER not going. Which is hilarious looking back because the countless times he used that very threat. I now know how desperate he was to just have a peaceful, fun drive to whatever destination, make it a fun trip and then to have the kids so passed out tired on the way home that he could listen to AM talk radio all the way home.

My parents really did a great job of creating great childhood memories. Even those car rides filled with poking, elbowing, pinching and tattling are fun to look back on. My parents would buy the big, family sized red and black licorice packages and bribe us with the quiet game or the Alphabet game or Pumpernickel Pickle (I have no idea what the heck that was but I remember shouting it out when we saw a lot of livestock(???)).

Flash forward to this afternoon. Clare being a complete nut job crawling all over my lap while I am nursing Elsie. Then Addie started screaming at Clare because she pulled the hair things off of her mermaids and Elsie starts crying again (with similar repeats all day long) and I am thinking to myself, 'Do I even want to get into the car? How did my mother do this with seven?' I have come to the conclusion that though my parents may have lost their cool at times, they were incredible! They somehow pulled the rabbit out of the hat and made every adventure memorable and sweet for me despite the fighting and chaos. So I am going to breathe deeply, count to ten and really make some magic of my own this weekend!

Shoot...That should have really got me going. Okay I am getting up!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Every Day of my Life!

This morning Clare was talking to the triplets next door. They were telling about their weekend adventures. They had gone to As You Wish. I asked if that's where they dress up like princesses and Clare quickly responded with a very serious/sassy look on her face,"I do that EVERY DAY of my LIFE!"

She is so cute and funny. The ages that our girls are at are so fun right now.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Elsie Jane Omerza

This is the most recent picture we have (taken about an hour ago).

This is in the hospital (I just got done changing her first diaper... at least the first diaper the nurses didn't change).

Here is a sequence of Elsie and her sweet sisters. Addie has been so insistent on holding Elsie, and Elsie loves it. Clare is really loves Elsie (despite Elsie's hand gesture in the 3 picture of the sequence).

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Elsie is in the NICU. The postpartum nurse today normally works in the NICU, and Elsie began to cry inconsolably, so that nurse came in, and said she thought it was possible (from Elsie's vital signs) that she had some sort of infection (possibly from aspirating some amniotic fluid). So she is in NICU, being monitored, having her blood tested, and getting x-rays. We don't really know anything beyond that. Pray for Elsie (or meditate, if you are a hippie).